I sit down with all the pain I'm carrying My burden's so alive he's begging me don't bury him I've waded all my life through river Styx I'm diving in the depth of misery – it's an abyss I'm staring in I stare in the abyss Till abyss gave me parenting Apparently the emptiness in me aquarium The diver of the deep seas seen what I'm swimming in The darkness is a fertile field for the elements No mud, no lotus The deepest and the darkest of the earth spring poets The poet in the spring smells the mud like it's ocean The suffering I've felt is like a variegated blossom The pain so awesome Striking me I'm awestruck I'm also dumbfounded by the tragedies and losses In a moment's clarity I find myself as open The exit wounds let the light out This is Adam For Now Even on a mundane level If you have this kind of sadness that is a byproduct of seeing the truth I think you have become a sensitive human being This is Adam For Now A momentary being I been holding it down There's more than what you seeing my seed still in the ground A crematorium where ash white lilies will sprout There's no rose bush that I'll be beating around I give it to you straight thigh bone trumpet the sound I'm grateful for the pain I prays breaking me down My ego was a concrete cage keeping you out But I'm changed Welcome you now My pain making me proud I made something out my rage Forge in flame From a thin rock in the ground Put that camera down Are you free time? Come find it out for yourself

Don't believe everything you think There's only one life We've always had brains And we never had minds You won't change And you can believe hype There's no pain And appearances exactly correspond with what exists And there is no twist And that's exactly how we live our life We don't know Heard about injustices they cover it pro-bono Get up out yo' pot hole Buy yourself a flag and wrap it 'round your Petey Pablo Welcome back to rap That XXL was my bible I think I was lied to Being black was cool but being half I was pariah This is for my liars This is for them rappers I looked up to acting pious Sunday school on fire Sneaking out out the back – I'm back I was undecided Being cool was cooler than being good so then I tried it Better yet I thrived it I was cool as hell and hell inside of me was frying Crack an egg up on my head And we were twelve when homie told me that he wished he's dead Learn to be depressed before we learned to make our beds Weezy felt like dying Homie said he's jumping off of Rideau And there's nothing I could buy him Look at me now This is my assignment Wisdom is the blade that opened up the heart inside him You can study science Go to school like I did But the real dissection's taking please behind your eyelids In your pure awareness Find it, don't grasp it, silence In your pure awareness, find it Look inside most of our thoughts are lying Like: there's only one life We've always had brains And we never had minds You won't change And you can believe hype There's no pain And appearances exactly correspond with what exists And there is no twist And that's exactly how we live our life We don't know know Heard about injustices they cover it pro-bono Get up out yo' pot hole Buy yourself a flag and wrap it round your racks on racks Ok I'm back to scratch your plaques and jump your couch There's never been a Self for you to help So help yourself My mind is caged but I can't think myself outside this cell From here alone the lonely road is only cold as I would I make it Don't mistake your solitude for loneliness Go into pure awareness Find it, don't grasp it, silence In your pure awareness, find it Look inside most of our thoughts are lying

Fear in my bones Bearing these poems And little did Adam know that For Now is foreclosed Here with my guard down Them witnesses sat down Let's look what the cat dragged I'm lucky my black dad Evaded the black hawk down And it's so sad My cousins – they ate sand My heart is a black drought I'm bout to bring my black out My teachers told me act less black And I backed down, that's so sad These black matters were lost on my white mom Her white dad didn't want lil coloreds to come round I'm so mad, it's amazing Looking at these epistemic wastelands we're raised in And now we're supposed to face it With that inter-generational trauma my brother Don't let nobody treat you like a problem my brother Don't believe it when they say they ain't seeing your colour You can stand out Tell 'em stand down Understand This that inter-generational trauma my brother Don't let nobody treat you like a problem my brother Don't believe it when they saying they ain't seeing your colour You can stand out Tell 'em stand down Understand This that pre-fabrication When they act a fool I don't tell em they racist People need my friendship They philosophy basic They cuisine tasteless These are such cages Passed down through the ages Of the dark generations You can see the light inside a damn rock if you focus You can see enough of good inside of folk While they choke us Yeah the cops and the teachers they don't know We the healers of the earth and I can see my brother glow I can see the seed of wisdom in oppressors – it can grow We can save the world together they ain't nowhere else to go You can set the ship to sail Or you could see your brother float I ain't never letting go I ain't never let that – put that thing down Inter-generational trauma: we're pinned down This that inter-generational trauma my brother Don't let nobody treat you like a problem my brother Don't believe it when they say they ain't seeing your colour You can stand out Tell 'em stand down Understand This that inter-generational trauma my brother Don't let nobody treat you like a problem my brother Don't believe it when they say they ain't seeing your colour You can stand out Tell 'em stand down Understand

Meadow's Creek A place for all the strangers and the freaks To get your bearings, bear with me My hatchets buried in the deep – I swear it And if your only home is here with me And all your broken hearted needs is a sleeve Ima wear it It's a scary world Scary but why should you perish Barely carried half my burdens Half across the street They tied a carrot to a stick to guarantee I'm point A to point B Welcome to Society Nowhere to go All alone: those we can't condone Meadow's Creek – your home Nowhere to go All alone: those we can't condone Meadow's Creek – your home We inherit: the actions of our past The bastard that I had to be Had me feeling quite embarrassed Least I have my front teeth Glad I've got my good name Glad I took the road home that day Couple brothers didn't Meadow's Creek: a great heron takes flight I've got some type of vision Place where brothers find some peace of mind within 'em But hold the optimism Life is full of suffering, innit First step is to hand yourself some open understanding With the heart of great compassion Suffering's a massive part of being down to earth And digging deep before our caskets dig us deep It's meditation – Meadow's Creek is no vacation But you are also not a patient this is patience And that's more than forbearance Your whole narrative is under question, can you bear it This the chance you have to re-arrange your motivation Instead of sneaking out the back Your old habits sneaking back with a vengeance Should have faced it with Nowhere to go All alone: those we can't condone Meadow's Creek – your home Nowhere to go All alone: those we can't condone Meadow's Creek – your home Nowhere to go All alone: those we can't condone Meadow's Creek – your home Nowhere to go Nowhere to go Nowhere to go

I woke up on the wrong side of myself And that's another problem for my ontological health And for the time being Being and Time will come off the shelf The world's appearing to my mind – does it exist somewhere else I woke up wrong side of myself And that's another problem for my ontological health And for the time being Being and Time will come off the shelf I got such questions lining up my good intentions to hell And then I wake up in a dream dreaming My senses burning but somehow I've learned to not believe it And then I wake up in a dream dreaming My senses burning but somehow I've learned to not believe it I woke up on the wrong side of myself And that's another problem for my ontological health And for the time being Being and Time will come off the shelf I got such questions lining up my good intention to hell But check the thin thin line Cause if the world is Mind-Only Only mind isn't mind And what's behind all them appearances I labeled as "I" I had to put this into words to but words are nowhere to find I think I'm dreaming, I don't believe it I got this body Ima feed it, and Ima flex it I am a subject cause I need to predicate a sentence To all them sadists and all them haters feeling nihilistic I think that cause-effect is binding us, don't get it twisted I think this life is twisted turns but we won't miss the exit I think we wound up here to learn And make mistakes and mystics I think its safe I said this: reality is up for question Cash your chips and catch a blessing And then you'll wake up in a dream dreaming Your senses burning but somehow you've learned to not believe it And then I wake up in in a dream dreaming My senses burning but somehow I've learned to not believe it I woke up on the wrong side of myself And that's another problem for my ontological I woke up on the wrong side of myself And that's another problem for my ontological Dreams: I'm not who I seem I'm not in the body I'm not in the mind And I'm not within both of them Not somewhere else and I'm not in between these There's nowhere to be There's no one that's doing the doing when doing is done And that's not a rainbow that's water and sun The waters reflection: the moon on the water The water's the waters, the moon is the moon And my thumb is thumb The finger that points to the moon is a front Adam For Now And for now is enough Nothing has happened from time immemorial Without the pieces that needed to come Piece it together for peace in your mind That's why I'm asking you Are you free time? Did you wake up in a dream dreaming? Your senses burning but somehow you've learned to not believe the I woke up on the wrong side of myself And that's another problem for my ontological health